F. E. Smith, Ist Earl of Birkenhead (1872-1930), a brilliant barrister and controversial Tory politician, was famous for his legendary wit, invariably employed at the expense of others. Anecdotes abound. Over recent weeks, a stream of them has appeared in TMS, the daily diary column in The Times. A final contribution was published on October 5, the first day of the Conservative Party Conference, under the heading “Crooked Comeback”:
“As the Conservative conference opens, here is one final anecdote about FE Smith, the eccentric lawyer who has popped up in this diary off and on. It was sent in by Lord Lexden, the Tory party’s official historian. When FE was made lord chancellor in 1919, he was congratulated by Horatio Bottomley, the great fraudster. “ I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear that you had been made Archbishop of Canterbury,” the toady said. “If I had,” FE replied, “I should have asked you to come to my installation.” Bottomley said how kind he was. “Not at all,” FE shot back. “I’d have needed a crook.”